my mom looks really pretty, wearing the same thing she wore to court earlier today.
she wears make up, but not too much of it. she’s sleeping right now. she was talking
in her sleep earlier. i wasn’t sure if i should’ve woken her up so i didn’t.
she went to court to try to get alimony adjustments so she can have the home and
health care that she needs to be independent. it’s been a long tough road but i’m
proud of her. it’s so unfortunate for me to be in this situation. i want to tell my
dad to just set her up, even for me. i’ve already come to terms with the fact that
i will be her main care taker. but like she cautiously remarked earlier about me
getting burnt out, it’s happening. i can’t wake up. i can’t wake up in the morning
and i don’t know why. my brain tells me nothing but sleep matters at that moment
so i go back to sleep. i suppose that’s only natural. but sometimes i sabotage myself
on purpose, subconciously. it’s a problem. there have been a lot of problems.
in a sense i’m very glad to have gone through what i’ve gone through and to have
made it out with experience and life lessons.
why did i have to go through it at all. is it fair? i want both of my fucking parents.
i want to have both of my fucking parents please.
i need them.
i need my sister.
who decided it would be okay to let dumb shit monkeys talk with words out of their
mouths. it causes so many problems. i hope the world ends soon. i hope you read this.